Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
