that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish you could order shots online.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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