she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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