Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
