apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize