Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Welp...herpes.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
