new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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