is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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