I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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