If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
