So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
