this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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