Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
