just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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