he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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