God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize