Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So squirting runs in the family.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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