She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
