I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
