So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
