we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
