i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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