all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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