I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
