So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
In other news, I just burned my penis
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
