You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
