And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
