Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
