Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
