There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
