I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
