I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
