his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
