nut hugger
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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