I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
