look no pants
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
