yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize