he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize