I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
