I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
