You can't motorboat a personality
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
