honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
