I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
