I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
