sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
wow bdsm is so cute
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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