My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
