you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
