I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
