Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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