can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wish you could order shots online.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
