would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
