I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
