Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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