Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
