they need to just BURY HIM!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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