hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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