You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I want her autograph on my taint
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
