Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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